Was gud ppl? how ya'll been.  Been a while since i wrote in here. Dont really got nuthin to say, no thoughts, no feelins, no nothin.  everythin is just wateva.  Florida is gey as eva, but i think i found  place and its startin to get comfortable.  i'm not gonna sit around and bitch and moan all day long.  I gotta suck it up and man up cuz whether i like it or not, i'm gonna be here, and therez nothin i can do about it.  Mite as well make the most of it.

Don't get me wrong, i still miss u guyz in NY, everyday, i'll never forget u guyz, but i'm not gonna sit around and sulk, or else my life will pass me by.  itz MUCH harder on me to miss all u guyz, then u guyz to miss just me, cuz i'm only one person.

I kno i haven't been around lately, i guess i just needed a break to just settle.  to get the hurt stoppin.  but i'm ova it now, so u'll be hearin more from me.

In otha news, skool is iight, nothin special, meetin new ppl everyday.  i think i found an actual group of ppl i can hang out wit and not just float around hangin out wit aquaintances.  datz all for now, u'll be hearin from me alot more after APs and the SATz are done. 

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Hey wassup ya'll.  Yea i kno, its been a LONG time since i've written in here and i kno i promised to write in here like everyday to update ya'll about Florida but i dunno what happened.  I mean, i guess my heart wasn't in it.  It hurtz too much.  I don't think anyone can understand the extent to how much i miss NY.  i realize dat i used to complain about my life b4, and how unperfect it was.  But u kno the saying, "you never really realize u had something until u've lost it." I look bak on my life in NY, and i'm askin myself, "how could i be so ungrateful?" I've grown to dislike wen ppl are like "my life sux, this is not goin to get betta." The reason y i dislike it iz b cuz i used to be like dat.  my eyes weren't open to what was around me.  No matta how bad u'r life is, there is always someone out there who is goin thru somethin worse.  U may not feel dat way, but its tru.  So wen i finally got to thinkin, i've concluded that i never liked Florida, and don't think i will anytime soon.  HOWEVER, that doesn't mean i won't give it a chance b cuz eventually, whether i like it or not, i'm going to like it b cuz it is my new home.  i used to think that movin was the end of my life, my career, the endin of friendships, etc. but now i look at it as an opportunity to start over.  itz an opportunity to not only maintain my old life in NY, but start a new one in FL.  The ppl here aren't that bad, and there are ppl here that do care; so far i've been lucky enough to meet some good ppl.  So u can look at dis entry as sort of my way of healing and accepting things for the way they are.  Life deals u some bad cards sometimes, u just gotta know how to use them.

distance wears on u.  i miss all my friends.  i love u guyz with all ma heart.  u guyz pulled me thru some tough stuff wen i needed u.  i'm sorry if i haven't been the greatest friend (phone call wise) lately, but i've been goin thru alot of stuff.  ppl say life in FL is supposed to be easier, but by the way i'm livin, its totally opposite.  I had to learn how to rely on myself and become independent.  but i promise i will make it up to each and everyone of u. 

adrianne, it tearz me up inside b cuz i can't do the normal things that b/fz do.  i wish i could be there rite now.  and it tearz me up inside b cuz i'm helpless to do anythin.  the distance doesn't change how i feel about u, its just that i wish i could be there.  i don't want u to feel this way. i don't want to feel this way. sometimes i don't even kno what to do or say, but so far we've been strong rite?

i'll be updatin my xanga soon guyz

Hey guyz, Merry Christmas!!!

*Sigh* unfortunately, im not gonna devote this entry to bein a Christmas entry tho.  Yes, itz tru, i AM movin to FL, AGAINST my will.  Am i pissed off about it? yea... Do i want to move?? NO.... but this is wen life throws u those curve ballz and u just gotta adjust.  I mean, i don't like Elmont Memorial as a skool, and the fake thugz in Elmont are gettin on my nerves.  Wen i think about it, if it weren't for my friends, and their support, i would've been out of here a LONG time ago.  So i just wanna thank  u ALL for bein so special to me, and makin my years in Elmont so much easier. 

After this past week, i didn't realize that so many ppl cared about me, and its SO hard to let u guyz go.  At the suprise party, i was shocked 2 see so many faces.  i didn't realize that i was worth a suprise party.  so many other ppl left Elmont, but they didn't recieve the same hospitality and love that i did.  Thank u guyz so much.  So if i EVER hurt ANYONE over the years, i'm terribly sorry for it.  I should just clear that up now, b4 i never get the chance.

I'm leavin so many things in NY and it hurts so much.  My family, my friends, my g/f, my church, my LIFE, my soul, and my heart.  I don't kno what i'm gonna do.  Imma try to visit as often as i can, but i don't even kno if that's gonna be possible.  Only time will tell.  Maybe this move to FL has some higher purpose that i'm missing; i just haven't figured it out yet.  I'm sure my new skool is gonna be fine and what not, but its not gonna have the same type of ppl i have grown so close to.  I don't even kno what to do anymore.  I'll tell u this tho, i will NEVER 4get u guyz, and u all will ALWAYZ be in my heart.

P.S- To those who don't care if i'm leaving, have a good life.  To those who are happy that i'm movin b cuz u get to move up in rank, i'd like to thank u for bein the drive in my life to stay ahead of u'r sadistic asses.  What kind of sick ppl are u? I hope life REALLY screws u in the ass and u get fucked over who ever u are. Honestly, if that's all whoever u are think about, then u have no life (This doesn't apply to anyone specific, only those who are happy that i'm leavin) U'r lucky i don't kno who u all are, i'd really give u a piece of my mind.)  B cuz i kno for a FACT that if i were in u'r shoes, i'd really care, or maybe its just b cuz that's the type of person i am.  I'm not one to rejoice at another's fault, but hey, wen doesn't the world screw u over?  Whateva.

P.P.S- There will be an even LONGER entry pending, with more sentimental stuff, i just kinda had to rush thru everythin now

I MISS MY ADRIANNE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Its been TOO long now, i'm goin CRAZY!!!!! lol, hey ppl, just had to get that outta my system.  Adrianne went on a mission trip to Honduras for the week, so she left me all alone :(.  I wanted to ride on the landing gear of the plane, but the customs agents promised to arrest me.  So here i am, sittin at home and goin to skool.  It's cool tho, cuz my cuzin Jonathan from FL came down to spend the week, so we've been playin ball, and playin video games all day.  Can't wait for Thanksgiving on Thurs.  There's gonna be an eating contest between me, mike and jon.  But ya'll kno that i'm gonna win, cuz ya'll kno how i do ;).

In other news, i wanna say that, adrianne, you are TRULY special to me.  lol, wen u come back from Honduras, i hope u get to read this and i hope u never desert me like this again ;).  Just had to give u a lil shout out on my xanga.  lol ok ppl, gonna talk to ya'll lata.

hey wassup ppls? how ya'll doin?  Its been a while since i've updated.  Not much is new in my life really.  I'm still the same old me, and i'm still goin to FL.  That story is for later tho.  I've been doin some thinkin over the last 2 days, and i just wanted to say somethin:

I'm very truly, and deeply sorry for what happened on sat adri.  I got a chance to think about it over and over again, and it was killin my conscience.  I kno the whole thing was squashed on sat, but i just felt that i just had to say this.  I probably made u feel real bad on that day and i kno how angry u got.   i kno i wouldn't want that to happen to me if i were in u'r shoes.  I shouldn't have just acted on impulse, there was miscommunication on my part, and i take responsibility for that.  I just hope that the situation didn't change u'r opinion bout me.  i wish i could be perfect, but i always fall short.  again, i just really wanna say that i'm sorry, and u can count on the fact that somethin like that will never happen again.